Corpse pose

I made my first trip to the health club Tuesday night. I know it's no big deal, and that millions of people go all the time, but like anything new, I had some anxiety about it. My appointment with the trainer is tonight, to go through and learn how to use the machines and get a program set up, but I didn't want to wait until tonight to start, so I went to a yoga class Tuesday night.

I've taken yoga forever, but not for the past couple of years. It was pretty tough. I mean, yoga isn't for wimps, even though it may look like it, but this class was pretty rough. It's health club yoga, though, and even though the instructor was playing a sitar music CD and we did relaxation at the end, it resembled an exercise class more than yoga. I've never been in a yoga class before where so much emphasis was on body parts--"okay, we're going to work our abs now!"

Usually the emphasis is more on the history and spirituality of it, or at least in the classes that I've taken, and also more on the meditative aspects. I can't recall ever being told to "go for the burn" before . . . Okay, that's an exaggeration, although one of my classmates did say at one point that she was "feeling the burn."

I didn't feel very flexible at all, but I tried not to feel badly about it, and just to do as much as I could without pushing myself too hard. Even when I haven't had a hiatus like I have now, my body is pretty stiff, so while I'd like to be more flexible, I know that I would have to work very hard at it. I liked the instructor. She seemed pretty nice, and seemed to know what she was talking about, so I'll probably try to take the class most weeks, and maybe another one--they have one on Saturdays, too.

I did something dumb, though. I hadn't eaten. I'd had soup for lunch that day, and I had sort of thought about it, and had a fairly substantial soup, like beef vegetable, but still soup. And maybe some celery and cream cheese or something, I don't remember. But anyway, I didn't think it would be a problem because I didn't feel that hungry when I left work.

The class was an hour and a half, and about 45 minutes into it, I wasn't sure I was going to make it to the end. I was feeling weak and kind of shaky, and when we'd do something where you put your head down, I'd feel a little dizzy. I definitely didn't want to faint or anything, so I thought maybe I'd just kind of quietly slip out; a couple of other people left early, and some had gotten there late, so it wasn't like it was any big deal.

I guess it was about 8:15 when I decided I was going to have to get out of there and get something to eat. I gathered up my mat and block and strap and put them away, and the teacher waved at me, and I waved back, and as I walked out I heard her tell the class that after they finished the pose they were doing, they would do relaxation.

Well, relaxation I could do! I went ahead back to the locker room, and would have just left out of embarrassment, but I decided I shouldn't do that, and just went back in, grabbed another mat, and laid down in corpse pose. Unfortunately, I laid down right in front of the speaker, so it wasn't as relaxing as it might otherwise have been . . .

I went out last night and bought a yoga mat--as long as I've been a yoga student, I've never bought a mat. They have those cheesy blue exercise mats there, which I used Tuesday night, but they slip and slide and you could easily get hurt using them on a hardwood floor. I've used those mats in classes before, but usually on carpet, where they don't slide so much. Real yoga mats are "sticky." They're made of rubber, but it's somehow treated so it doesn't slide. I got a purple one. There wasn't a huge choice at Target--orange, lime green, and purple--but they were a good brand (Gaiam). Tonight I'm going to go back and buy a carrying bag for it.

Stupid anxiety dream from this morning: I'm at the health club, and I can't find an empty locker. I find some that have things in them, but there's still room for my stuff, but I realize that if I put my stuff in there, I can't put a lock on the locker because then the other person couldn't get their stuff out.

And all the unlocked ones that have stuff in them already seem to have food in them, mostly cookies and pastries and cakes. Of course.

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month