Lipstick

I had kind of an interesting conversation with a clerk at the Clinique counter at Dillard's Monday night.

I had gone in to pick up something--anything--in order to get the current gift-with-purchase. I have varying strategies that I use for this. Sometimes I just get my old regular standby skin care stuff that I've used for years and years--a bar of soap, say, or some moisturizer. I'll always use it, even if I don't need it right now.

Sometimes I get all crazy and buy something new, like some new kind of intense moisturizer or eye cream or something that I end up not using very much, or something makeup-like, with basically the same result.

I don't wear much makeup most days, just my old Bonne Bell tinted moisturizer THAT THEY'VE STOPPED MAKING AND I HAD TO ORDER TEN TUBES OF IT AT ONE TIME FROM THE FACTORY, but I'm not bitter . . .

That's basically it. When (maybe once or twice a year) I get "dressed up" to go out, I sometimes wear some mascara, but for the most part I've given up on makeup. I like to be able to rub my eyes or touch my face and not be afraid I'm going to smudge something. It's just not something I feel is necessary for me anymore. Or right now.

But I've still got this little niggling feeling that maybe I should. I try not to have any shoulds, but sometimes I can't help it. I'll never go back to wearing foundation and eye shadow, I can almost guarantee that. But the colors still entice me. I indulge in color in nail polish--I can paint my finger or toenails navy blue or sparkly pink or bright red, and it doesn't rub off.

But it's not enough. I still look at lipsticks and sigh.

So I thought maybe it was time to try again. I picked Monday night, when I figured the store would be less busy, and a week into bonus time. I'd never go on the weekend when the promotion starts, or on a Saturday anyway, without knowing exactly what I want. They're just way too busy, and while the clerks would be willing to spend any amount of time with you without exasperation, the same can't be said for the other customers.

So I went in, and looked at colors, and types--there are probably a dozen different kinds, not to mention the colors--and someone came over to help me. She was awfully nice--a small woman with an accent, Greek, maybe? And she was wearing makeup so thick it might have been applied with a trowel, except that she looked fine. You know, for a makeup counter clerk. Even with the lip liner. They have to do that, I'm sure.

I told her my story (which I'm sure was obvious), that I seldom wear makeup, and so didn't really know what I wanted, but that I wanted to try a new lipstick. My staple for years and years has been Different Lipstick in Black Honey, which I've worn for my few "dress-up" occasions since I first tried it probably twenty years ago. "Different Lipstick" sort of means "Not Really Lipstick;" it's really sheer, and more of a lipgloss, except it's not really shiny. It stays on pretty well and doesn't really feel like I'm wearing lipstick.

So I had picked a Different Lipstick in red--"Ruby Melt." I looked in the mirror, and it looked okay, but sometimes it's hard to tell on your own face. I asked her if it was an okay color for me, and she said yes, although would they really tell you if it was awful? I'm not sure. I would hope so. All she would have to do is recommend another color. But she said it was okay, and I said I liked it, and I said something else self-deprecating about never wearing makeup, and she said, "Why not?"

I said that my workplace was casual, and I work with all men, so it sort of seems unnecessary, and she said, "Oh, but you should!" She said that she thought every woman should wear some color, at least lipstick, and she laughed, and said, "especially if you work with all men!"

So I've been wearing lipstick, and trying to remember to put it on when I go to work, and put it back on after lunch. And every time Bob sees me, he says, "You're wearing lipstick!"

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month