Willa's Journal: October 2000 Edition

Tuesday, October 31, 2000: Strange all the time

I woke up early this morning (4:30) and couldn't go back to sleep, so as I lay there I thought up a good Halloween costume--Vampire Hunter. Wear all black with a big cross around my neck, and carry a stake. And maybe a mallet and a vial of "holy" water. And maybe a string of garlic around my neck, although that's pushing it.

Today I think I'll wear a black t-shirt under overalls, with Halloween socks (orange with candy corn on them) and maybe a tattoo or two. Oh, and my glow-in-the-dark skull earrings.

Actually, I probably could have gone back to sleep this morning (and I did, eventually) except that I turned on the light to record a dream:

I was at a car dealership driving my car--which wasn't actually the car I have now, but a white four-door with red interior. Behind the dealership was a big construction area, with rocks and piles of dirt and ravines and big holes. I was trying to let the car just go, i.e., not really control it, because I was afraid that if I tried to steer too much, I'd end up crashing. So I mostly just kept my hand lightly on the wheel, and we bounced over the rocks and around the obstacles, and everything was pretty much okay.

Then, instead of actually driving the car, I was watching, and the driver's door came open as the car was racing around over the rocks. I just knew that my purse had fallen out and I was going to have to go look for it, climbing over and through the dirt and rocks.

Then I'm talking to someone at the dealership who tells me that someone just bought my car for $11,000, which surprises me, since that's much less than I paid for it, and I show her that although it's dirty, it doesn't have any dents or real damage.

As I walk off to go look for my purse, I notice a man who I assume to be an illegal immigrant huddling in a corner behind a chair. He motions to me not to let on that I've seen him, and I gesture that it's fine, I won't tell. There are immigration agents in the dealership, wearing gray polyester pants and blue shirts and headsets.

I know that generally, in dream interpretation, forms of transportation represent a person's life, and I think that in this case the dream is referring back to a couple of conversations I've had lately about goals--I don't really have any, I tend to take life as it comes and not try to "steer" too much. And for the most part, things generally turn out okay, although at the end of the day, I'm probably not "worth" as much as I could have been if I'd tried a little harder, i.e., finished college, worked harder at my craft, spent less time playing.

I'm glad I made myself wake up and record that one. It's interesting, anyway.

I'm sitting here waiting for something to finish downloading, eating soggy leftover soft tacos from last night. I had intended to take them with me for my lunch, but I don't think they can stand another four hours in the refrigerator. I think I'm going to finish one of them for breakfast, then throw the other one away. The lettuce really didn't make it through the night well, and the tortillas are kind of slimy. Ick. Maybe I'll throw both of them away.

Later: I did throw both of the tacos away--I ate about half of one, and that was enough. I put a tattoo of the Chinese symbol for "Dream" on the inside of my left wrist--oops, now I'm giving something away, because I had convinced several people at work that it was real--and I decided against the Halloween socks, and just painted my toenails black.

I did wear the glow-in-the-dark skeleton earrings, but no one at all commented on them. The downside to being strange all the time . .

I rushed to get home tonight--I had to stop and get gas, and I had to get cash, and I needed to get another bag of candy, and we needed something for dinner. I ended up driving through Taco Bell for dinner, and got the last bag of candy in the grocery store--Zero bars, which Bob said he didn't know they made anymore, and which I've certainly never seen in "fun size."

And after all that rushing around, we haven't (at 8:00 p.m.) had one trick-or-treater. I've heard a couple of groups in the street, but they're not coming to our door. I keep looking to see if the porch light is on, and it is--it's even a festive special orange bulb. Maybe it's the black cat in the window that's keeping them away.

I took the camera to work this morning to take a picture of our newest employee (the one who replaced Billy, the copywriter), and as I drove past one of the fountains on the Plaza, saw drifts of foam blowing across the park--someone had put soap in the fountain. I know it's bad for the machinery, and more work for the city employees, but it made me smile, so I grabbed the camera and took a picture.

I couldn't really get close enough without parking the car and getting out, and I didn't really want to do that, but the effect is there.

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