There are little things that we do every day that must be done. But they don't have to be devoid of meaning. The small tasks that we perform each day can become points of reference, places where we come to rest and reflect on the meaning of our lives.
I used to come home from work and move right from running the business of an office for someone else to the running of my home. As I moved further into my own inner work, I found that a few minutes making the transition from the work day made a big difference in the way I felt about the tasks that faced me at home.
Now when I come home from work I change my clothes. I put on comfortable sweat pants or shorts and shirts, something soft and loose. I wash my hands and symbolically wash away the cares of the day under the running water. I sit down in my chair, in the corner I have prepared as my own refuge, and go through the mail, taking my time, tossing the junk, setting aside the bills, and reading the items that will please me.
Only after I have centered myself, brought myself back into my home, both my physical home and the home in my heart, do I start preparations for dinner or do laundry, or any of the many things that always need to be done.
After leaving my parents' home, I got out of the habit of saying grace before meals. Now I always say a silent prayer over a meal, usually just, "Thank you for lunch, God," but it's a ritual that makes me aware that I'm nourishing my body through the grace of God.
And when I sit down in the evening to write, I always light a candle, symbolically stating that it's time to sit down, calm down, get centered, and create something.
Children, especially, love ritual and tradition. They love things done the same way time after time, year after year. They like knowing they can depend on things, that they know what to expect. Adults aren't much different. There's something to be said for change, for new and different things, but there is comfort in the familiar, in knowing that our traditional rituals and celebrations can be depended on.
The holiday season is the traditional time to reflect on these things. It's truly a time when the thought counts much more than the gift itself. Tradition and ritual bind our families, and also our society, together. When I'm tempted not to send Christmas cards one year, or to bring a different dish to a family celebration, I'm aware that someone will be disappointed. Not by the specific lack of a Christmas card from me, or by a pumpkin pie rather than cherry, but by the fact that, with few enough rituals in our modern lives, we can't afford to lose one more.
Rituals enhance our lives, make us stop and think about what we're doing. Life is much too short, and too important, to conduct it unthinkingly. By creating our own traditions and rituals we make everything we do take on greater meaning. On the first morning of a new month, I go through the house changing the pages of the calendars I have in nearly every room. As I do so, I hold an awareness in my heart that another month has passed, and another has started, and that I am grateful for a new chance, a new beginning.
