Light and Darkness

Over the last couple of weeks as I tried to think of something to write here, I kept being drawn back to the idea of talking about Light and Darkness and my reaction to these seemingly opposite elements.

I have a little book of writing exercises called "Room to Write" by Bonni Goldberg which suggests writing about Light and Darkness from a viewpoint other than the usual one, that is, that Light epitomizes goodness, happiness, clarity, awakening, and Darkness represents the so-called dark side of life--the criminal element, the darkness of despair, things that are lost or hidden.

There are aspects of the physical forms of both light and darkness which attract me. It's always wonderful to get up in the morning and see the sun shining. It's so much more difficult for me to wake up in the winter, in the dark, even when I've had plenty of sleep. It's a struggle--it doesn't seem right, it seems like I should be able to wake up in the light, no matter what time of year it is. The first thing I do in the morning is open the curtains and, if the sun isn't shining, turn on the lights. I leave the curtains open as long as possible in the evening, to capture every last bit of light.

But I also love the darkness. When I sleep I like my bedroom to be completely dark, so that having my eyes open is the same as having them closed. And I love going to the beach at night, looking out over the ocean, when no matter how hard I look, my eyes can detect no glimmer of light in the seemingly infinite darkness.

I'm on vacation now, and I wrote the first part of this essay this morning, sitting on a balcony in the sun, with a slice of ocean visible through the trees. The sun made it almost impossible to see the letters on the computer screen, and I typed blindly, unable to see the words as they appeared. I'm writing now in a darkened, quiet room, with a table lamp the only illumination, and a fan in the corner creating a soft breeze and white noise.

I'm reflecting on the power of both Light and Darkness to move me, and how it's important to respect the strengths and dangers of each. There are times when only sunlight can make me happy, and the lack of it makes me moody and depressed. But sometimes it's too much, too raucous, and I need the silence and simplicity of perfect darkness, when my mind can turn inward and and is free to dream without distraction.

Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
~ Emily Dickinson

Try to find the light in your own personal darkness.