Finding Joy

A letter from an old friend; a postcard for no special reason. An unexpected phone call or a message on the answering machine "just because I wanted to say hello." A new book by a favorite writer, a toad on the back porch, finding my favorite flavor of yogurt on sale, patchouli candles.

I can find joy in such small things if I just remember to look. Joy needs to be acknowledged. It's sometimes very quiet, sitting just under the surface of my consciousness, waiting for me to notice it. Sitting in my corner, my favorite candles burning on the table, my favorite things placed around me--a framed piece of Japanese calligraphy I cross stitched on a piece of linen, a tiny statue of Ganesh, stones and crystals, photographs and fresh flowers--I feel quietly joyous when I remember to be aware of them.

They're just things, but they bring me comfort and they bring me peace, and they bring me joy. It's not the things themselves, but the meaning they hold. The photographs, of course, are easy. A tiny one of my husband, Bob, in an ivy-encircled frame, a photo booth one of me and my best friend on a beach vacation. Postcards that remind me of the friends who sent them to me, stones that Bob brought back from a Canadian fishing trip and a plastic lizard he bought me out of a gumball machine.

Joy is oftentimes elusive. We feel that we don't deserve happiness, or we put it off, forcing ourselves to keep working instead of playing, or telling ourselves that we're being childish by wanting to do something "frivolous" with our time. Those small moments of joy can be what keeps us going through the day, and they can keep us from becoming stiff and unhappy. Finding joy doesn't mean neglecting your responsibilities for the long term. Taking a fifteen minute break in the middle of the day to walk around the block or read a book of your favorite poetry won't cause the world to come to an end, but it might just make it possible for you to work for another few hours without screaming at someone, and go home with a smile on your face.

Finding joy means allowing yourself to buy a box of brightly colored markers when they catch your eye in the supermarket, not telling yourself that it's silly to want such a thing. It's picking up that shiny stone that catches your eye on your evening walk and putting it in your pocket, or calling someone that you haven't talked to in a long time and spending a half hour catching up on old times. It means giving yourself permission to be happy, and not beating yourself up too much when you make a mistake.

It's recognizing that every day is special, and that every moment can hold joy, if we just remember to notice it.

What would make you happy?
It's a simple question, but one with profound consequences. Asking and answering that question, then acting on it, is often our path--a path that will lead to the next step, a path that is in our best interests. We will be choosing our destiny. And the destiny we're choosing is joy.

~ Melody Beattie, "Journey to the Heart"