I dare you

Dare to be outrageous. Dare to be unconventional. Dare to be different, to make mistakes, to do something totally unexpected.

I don't respond well to other people daring me. I like to make my own decisions on my own terms and in my own time. But I do dare myself, challenging myself to do things that I may find difficult. If you never risk anything, you never grow. There are lots of things to learn and experience, and sometimes it's frightening to take that first step.

I don't often take physical risks, I don't jump out of airplanes or climb mountains. I don't like roller coasters or other carnival rides, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest to refuse to ride them or to have someone make fun of me because I do. Sometimes it's just as daring not to do something--to refuse to go against what someone else wants you to do and go with your own instincts.

There are several instances of being dared that I remember from my school days. A popular girl, threatened by a new girl who was pretty and smart and a little exotic, told me that I could no longer be her friend if I chose to befriend the new girl. That was an easy choice to make. I took the dare, dared to be unpopular, and made a new, more worthwhile friend. I got in trouble for wearing a short skirt in high school more than once, and I particularly remember a conversation with the Vice Principal in which he asked me whether I knew what I was doing hanging around with the kids who were my friends.

There would probably have been nothing more certain to cement those friendships than to have someone in authority tell me I was making a mistake. The rules infractions seem so innocent now--short skirts, too much make up, dangling earrings (one particular pair with blinking eyes on them comes to mind).

The point being, I guess--dare me to make a choice between what I want to do and what you think I should do, and, all things being equal, I'm pretty certain to go with my own instincts. Dare me to ride Space Mountain, and I'll just look at you. Dare me to open my heart to you, and I will.

It's scary and risky to dare other people, too. To ask questions that they may not want to answer. To dare to open up emotionally to someone else and risk that they won't respond in kind, or worse, that they will back away from you. I've learned to dare to ask. If someone chooses not to answer, that's okay. Someone told me once, "I think we regret more the things we didn't do than the things we do," and I've remembered that advice. If my heart tells me it's right, I go for it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and I try not to feel bad when it doesn't.

Rejection is hard, and it doesn't get easier. Every time hurts. The trick is not to let it make you afraid to try again. To take another risk. To dare to be yourself and let someone know you. To dare to know someone else as they really are. To open up your heart and not be afraid. Or, to be afraid, and to do it anyway. I dare you.

Dare to invent a bridge between you and another.
Dare to be your most complete emotional self.
~ SARK, "Living Juicy"